Things Got Weird

By: Alexey Adonin

Glimpses of memories act as ghosts. They are haunting me. I feel like being barefoot, looking for something, smelling and groping by crawling on all my fours. I am like a wind in the trees, ignorant but delighted. I am a half-animal, a half-man, and some things in me began to change. I live in a stuffy community, and my individuality ceased to exist. My past belongs to "Who cares..." but not me. I'm a puppet that is being manipulated. And every time I wake up in a dream, I am among the ice floes in a cold ocean where everything is not what it seems. Nothing is under the veil of fog, not even ocean waves crashing by my boat. I'm alone, selling through a gloomy scape of sudden thoughts. It's pure art to lose yourself in.

📅 April 29, 2023

Losing Your Chains (from notes)

By: Alexey Adonin

I hardly see the stars tonight, only a few pale spots. These are probably the brightest of them, and their light breaks through the veiled night sky. Surprisingly, this overcast gives me a feeling of unusual sensitivity. My emotional responses acquire almost psychic powers. The sense of "In-Between" is so clear as if just by taking a step beyond the horizon, I would immediately appear on the other side. It is such a shift of my routine perception that I feel urgent to give it some explanation! Is it came from that mighty sky, as I asked for that? Am I the owner of anything here? Do I have control over my senses or maybe my body... my life? I feel possessed by the nontemporal, beyond finite and physical! It would be nice at all losing your chains and crossing the distances to dissolve into nothingness!

📅 January 26, 2021

Shell Of Ignorance

By: Alexey Adonin

She always knew that the stones are alive;
they are the earth's flesh-like,
which is all over the place.

By touching them,
she waited for revelations,
looked for her past in them.

She yearned for the sea; she was sad.
And then, when someone's script seemed so sweet,
she dissolved in it,
as the night dissolves in distant stars.

Childhood was slowly dying,
casting a vast shadow on life,
it turned into a weary expectation of death.

She looked out the window of her house
and saw a reflection of herself.
She loved to examine herself,
her narrow lips,
which were replaced by some strange smile.
Somewhere at the tips of these lips,
clouds came running under a canopy.

These reflection games,
of light and shadow,
were something like dreams.
It is incredible how one continues to live in another!
"Here we are ...", she reasoned,
making her way through the shell of ignorance" -
We are also born and die all the time!"

📅 July, 2020

Autumn Motif

By: Alexey Adonin

As I stroll along the melancholic shores of autumn, I find myself walking alone in the darkness. My dreams guide me unwaveringly towards the path of my deepest desires.

To my surprise, I am sitting by a bright bonfire despite the fact that I never expected to be alive in this moment. The flickering sparks of the fire pierce through the shadows, extending endlessly.

I must watch my thoughts flow past me, much like the clouds drifting far away into the distant, vast landscapes where sadness looms.

It seems illogical to pursue enlightenment by trying to comprehend the nature of existence through the mind's endless rotations.

📅 December, 2018

My Heavenly World

By: Alexey Adonin

All doors are in front of you. Open the ones that are yours and hit the road boldly. Avoid fuss, go forward without looking back, and step by step, you will turn from a student into a master and a master into a creator. Find your world and light it up. So that it will burn like a star at the zenith, this is what will be your heavenly home, intimate and dear. This is what will become your mirror that reflects your light.

📅 October, 2018